Neither​/​/​Nor (Deluxe)

by Violet Mice

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about

PHYSICAL CASSETTE TAPE AVAILABLE FROM ATHLETIC TAPES:
athletictapes.bandcamp.com/album/neither-nor

Neither//Nor— the new record from Violet Mice, in maximum deluxe form.

This version of the bedroom glam queer fantasia contains the equivalent of a "Disc Two"— a dozen outtakes and extra songs. They aren't just lazy demos or the like.

The songs on "Disc Two" are effectively an alternate album. Every song there was slated to be on the record at one point.

Revel in the alternate dimension where "Experience Bombs" was a GBV-pop-rocker!

Where "Ghosty" was actually ghostly!

Where "At War With My Culture" wished it was on Pisces Iscariot!

———

Neither//Nor— a "queer masterpiece."

Give it a listen, please.

I love you!
—I—

credits

released February 18, 2016

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Track Name: Pulchritude
i'm sorry my body is a burden to you
Track Name: Neither/Nor
ooh, what did you just call me?

i am the future
let’s lose the past
i am the stern
i am the mast
i am an apple
i am a snake
i am a witch
burned at the stake
i’m not a woman
i’m not a man
i am something that you’ll never understand
i heard that once and it stuck with me
so let’s see—

don’t bar my way
don’t bar my way
this is empowerment by force

this incantation is intended for everyone

(speak!)

i am the curve
i am the wall
i am the tower
over you all
I am the castle
I am the queen
I am the mountain
i am the stream
i am the water
i am the ore
i am the ether
i am the spore
i am the neither
i am the nor
i am an either
and i will be the “or”

ooh, these are all just words
i have a better way for us

BE EITHER!
BE OR!
BE NEITHER!
BE NOR!
Track Name: The New Hour
this is gonna hurt like hell
this is gonna be the worst day
gonna be a new low
gonna be a change

i don't have to explain me
i don't have to say a word
but you beg and cry and whine
and you're wasting all my time

its not your business
but you make it so
i don't have to let you know
i don't know have to say

who i am now
i'm me,
and you say you always knew
but this isn't about you
if you really want to honor who i am
throw the paper out the window

so all procedure's out the window today
and i know that you must feel uncomfortable now
but i don't care, i like it this way
i will be a jerk to you
if i want i'll try to commit to being a jerk to you
i've got things to do, people to meet,
and a partner to love
that's just how it is
that just how i'll be
it's

who i am now
i'm me,
and you say you always knew
but this isn't about you
if you really want to honor who i am
throw the paper out the window
throw them out for me

oh!

if you hear my voice again
it's up to me
it's what i want
this time

i know when to go out
or when to stay in
get things done
like say for instance
put on a dress
maybe even my stockings
my red lacy bra
my pink frilly jacket
i got my headphones on
its modern love
i'll defy my death
i'll become a ghost
Track Name: Wade Welles
let's throw the gauntlet down
trust is dead
it died the moment that teenager punched me in the head

sean penn told me
"cynicism is cowardly"
well i guess that makes me the most yellow-bellied cocksucker 'round
here

so let's end the world together holding hands
well if magick is symbolic then i guess i can believe in death
but in this lowest realm, a malkuth hell
we're all human beings
we're all human beings
is that really so hard to understand?

and isn't it hard to go outside?
all eyes on your eyes
your face your chin your neck
a hand on your ass is a nightmare
finally failed by your face
Track Name: At War With My Culture
oh, this is a grisly sight
there's blood along the pavement
not a block from where i am
there's a class war all over again
but the class war never stopped
it's '29 again
let's self defenestrate,
YEAH!

ah, this is my culture

they call this shit "memory-pop"
but no one will remember
these boring dots and loops at all
after 2012
so let's pierce our eyes and earlobes
get a ring around my toe
get a tattoo of a giant penis
on my dick,
YEAH!

ah, this is my culture

there's pain in the papers
the sorrow and the muddy streets
but i'm at war with my culture
my culture's abandoned me!

ah
Track Name: "Annie."
my name is annie and i've got something i'd like to say to you
presentation sometimes seems like the only path to choose
so i want my eyes to flutter feel my lashes on the breeze
i want to feel all of the smoothness of my body's skin
i want you to know me as the girl that i've always been


all i can do is put on a dress and hope for the best
do i imagine stares and glares or do they surround and threaten me
i can think of the kind of person they think i'm trying to be
but no, i'm so much more than that


my name is annie and i've got something i'd like to say to you
i paint my nails at night and walk around without my shoes
i wear a dress and wish my hair was soft and shoulder length
i sway the hips and breasts i have when my eyes are closed


call for the dogs, call for the cops, call for the papers
there's a man who runs around shaming his sex
it's exhausting, it's depressing, it's inevitable
but hey you, i'm so much more, i'm so much more


my name is annie and i've got something i'd like to say to you
language is our great failing i just don't have the words to use
it's not like threats would be anything i'm not used to now
fuck you if i don't fit into the shape you see me in:
always stuck inside an irony of hair and bones
so my name is annie and i've got something i'd like to say to you
Track Name: My Old Friend
my old friend
up the stairs
lays her hand
on concrete
takes a breath
full of air
weighs the time

my old friend
closed her eyes
took a breath
drank the air
looked downstairs
weighed her time

my old friend
moved her eyes
thought of this
thought of that
marked the time

my old friend
made a plan
questioned weight
questioned time
questioned it

my old friend
up the stairs
flexing hands
weighing time
why not here
why not now
there's more to do
there's more to make
so not this time
so not this place
so not this now
i can trust this weight

and my old friend
went down the stairs
away from air
sat in a chair
eyes half closed
watching time
feeling space
allowing weight
the new colors
behind her eyes

so my old friend
at the end
her eyes open
weighed her time
allowed her space
and decided "no"

my old friend
my old friend
my old friend
Track Name: Ghosty
sorry carved my features
sorry saw me throw up my arms, "its fine"

thought i saw you coming
thought i saw the mist curling at your feet

all i do is witness
i have carved a speech from the night sky

and sorry's not a word that i stumble by
and summer means a vision come out the sky
a cloudy day is what we're all driving by
a chill is fine it's okay its friday night

and you think a change is coming
but you can't make it to summer
when the wind sticks to your bones
its just a rising tide of winter
and its dark its almost twilight
could you think to leave the light on?
when your heart pounds like a siren
so you've never been to heaven?
well, i have

sorry carved your features
sorry carved my face in the window pane

and i would heave a a stolen switch
or bite a pear of night time
or i could reach for you round the globe
or even split the atoms of your soul

i'm ghosty
i'm in love

and you think a change is coming
but you can't make it to summer
when the wind sticks to your bones
its just a rising tide of winter
and its dark its almost twilight
could you think to leave the light on?
when your heart pounds like a siren
so you've never been to heaven?
well, i have
Track Name: The Ball Jar
is it getting better?
you promised me change
when I look out the window
i don't feel safe

i imagine softness
where there is none
i cry my eyes out, repeating

it can be better if we let it
it can be better if we want

so if it gets better
will i notice anything
will i wake up one morning
with no finger in a string
and if i allowed it
would my phone start to ring
would i tell all my friends
what a year it's been its been its been

this year was the year
of good things, asterix
a point against favor
a good vibes draught

parts warm parts frigid
parts triumphant and sour
like say for instance
this winter wind
and for every engagement came
a brush with death
a good friend in peril
begets a well of grief

but inside this grief
was care and warmth
was defiance up to
the face of death
so fuck off grim reaper
a dick slap to death's face
fight fire with humor
til the well runs dry

and when the well runs dry
just dig a new well
illness takes time but
this time's on your side
so embrace the sayings
hold hands in circles
fill the jar with laughter and
fill another with pain
we'll screw the lids up tightly
leave 'em out in the rain
say a word if yr into that
or say a word anyways

we've got you covered
we'll keep you safe
that's what friends are for
to keep you out of the rain

it will get better
if we let it
Track Name: Didn't You Know I Couldn't Last?
candy
hey that's you it's you and me
perfect and shining
we sashay atop the marquee scenes

ooh, we delight in fantasies
of being real, of being what we are
you and me we play at not playing

and if our bodies bring us down
there's always tomorrow
instead of today
we might feel more at home inside ourselves

candy
and though i know you get so sad
i want you to know that you are adored
i adore you for who you are
i want to tell you so
i want to share your life
the way you own the room
its like the room is you
your body becomes the room
is there any greater way
to say i want you
than to say
"i want to be you?"

and candy says
I've come to hate my body
and i say
i've come to hate mine too
Track Name: Experience Bombs
well let's just say
id like to know you better
id like to think that u were someone i could dig
but i don't know
what the rules are
and how things like this
could complicate everything

it's things like this that make me laugh myself to sleep
i think i might have fallen in love with something i could dance to

so i will turn
into a hermit
i'll trust in horoscopes and energy
and feel no thing
you represent a separate lifestyle
a far more colorful way of living (i guess)

i'm unsure of things, like who you are or who i mean to be
so we'll hold hands in the backs of cars and i'll take back up my twitch, oh my god

and here i am, living a lie or two
it's still a lie if you don't say anything (so talk to me)
but in the morning, too nonchalantly
you throw your arms around another man
and go to bed with him instead

isn't it funny?